You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
