he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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