ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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