I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
