dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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