I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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