He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
no, he came in my armpit
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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