We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
