i barfeds in our rink
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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