maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
