What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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