Whod you bang
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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