She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
whose parrot is this?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
