Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
