His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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