So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
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