I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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