3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
