New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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