Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
