so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He felt like a one man threesome
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Randomize
