When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
