it wasn't lemon gatorade
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
