Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize