oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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