i just had sex bonerless
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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