The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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