i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
