I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If its not for food we ain't going out.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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