1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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