omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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