I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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