It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
