Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
