I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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