So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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