I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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