you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
