just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
