closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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