just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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