you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
