Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
