You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
