Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize