it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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