someone get that fucking seahorse.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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