..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize