great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
