I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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