he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
