My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
