i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
