I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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