I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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