Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
