I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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