Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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