I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
