My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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