Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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